Accidental Tourist
by pinksnail
Summary: It was just a case of the wrong place, the wrong time and probably the wrong country. I was never really cut out for being a tourist. So you can imagine the horror of being forced to go holidaymaking in a realm of Gods. (OC x ?)
1. Chapter 1

Being a tourist is hard. There's always that terrifying moment when you realise that not every foreign person in the world knows the English language and then you're stuck there for a good ten minutes waving your hands about in a bizarre game of charades trying your best to get the foreigner to understand you. God it's terrifying. The person you are 'talking' to could be a murder, molester, mugger, or some other malicious occupation beginning with M... That's why I always make sure I bring along a buddy to talk to the locals for me.

However this time, I was on my own. Just one young woman armed with a bag of cameras and a pepper spray. But I was very eager to see the local shrine and unfortunately none of my classmates wanted to see it. I thought at least the teachers would have shown an interest, but nope! They were all going shopping at the town centre and I was told by Mr Macklin to try to have a look around as a solo tourist. Ok, granted I'm nearly 18 and am meant to be an adult now or whatever my parents keep telling me, but really? What happened to all these protective laws that get teachers into some deep shit if they let students go wandering wherever they like. If something were to happen to me my government and media would be on Mr Macklin faster than he could say 'Kon'nichiwa'.

So no one on my school trip likes Japanese culture. What's a girl to do?

Take Mr Macklin's advice and march off on your own into a strange, unknown area of course.

I wandered around for some time, snapping pictures as I went just like one of your regular obnoxious sightseer. I did get lost quite a lot but was pretty adamant about not asking for directions so I just ambled until low and behold I came across the shrine I researched on the internet. I had been rather lucky to come across it. It was only after catching sight of a girl with a quite outstanding head of purple hair go bounding up a long set of steps that I realised where the shrine was. Only a shrine could be important enough to have that many steps!

I passed two men when going up the steps. They were both staring at me, with very curious looks on their face. I suppose they didn't get many English women moseying around their neighbourhood. The constant stares I got in foreign countries always made me think I had something on my face. Well, there was nothing on my face then, unless you count the Englishness smothered all over it. You know, the freckles, more defined jaw, blue eyes, fair hair, lanky body. Ah, how very western of me.

Fortunately the men didn't stop me for a conversation, or god forbid a photo. A gaggle of Japanese girls had asked my friend and I for one the other day. Never again.

I reached the top (severely out of breath) and marvelled in a sweaty breathless silence at the beauty of the shrine. I whipped out one of my many fabulous cameras- I am somewhat passionate about photography- and began to take pictures. That was until a man with a broom beckoned me over. I was considering running away (you never know when a malicious M might pop up) but he had glasses and a broom. I liked glasses. I liked brooms. Of course nobody bad would have both glasses and a broom.

He was talking to me and I could only shake my head and drawl out, "English."

"Ah!" Realisation dawned on him and he was immediately ushering me towards a woman who stood behind an open window.

Now this woman knew her English.

"Of course you can look around," She answered me with a warm smile. Oh I do love foreign people (the non-malicious M ones). "Actually, how about my daughter shows you around? She can give you a tour all around the shrine."

The question 'She knows English too, right?' was on the tip of my tongue but I refrained from being that annoying tourist and thanked the woman. She pointed me towards the nearby shed- apparently that's where her daughter was.

"Pardon the intrusion..." I said, poking my head around the shed door.

"Whoa!" As soon as I had stepped inside the structure I was enveloped in a warm blue glow. "Funky lights!" I exclaimed, my hands going straight for my camera.

There was a gasp and my attention was drawn to the girl ahead of me, enveloped in the same blue glow. It was the girl from before, the one with the purple hair! Barely had I made that realisation before the world around me fell away and everything became white.

* * *

><p><em>I really should complete my other stories before moving on to another but I just can't help myself. Its a cliche idea too but for once I thought to myself "Let it be cliche!". I might try to put my own twist on it if I can though. I hope you've enjoyed the first little snippet of this story.<em>


	2. Chapter 2

I felt like I had been run over by a freight train. Or had a piano dropped on my head. Or had been snapped up by a folding wall bed. I don't know. Something slapstick, comedic, and cartoon-like. And you know how the character always sees little stars or tweety birds after the unfortunate accident? I'm pretty sure that was what I was seeing.

I sat up, in a state of complete grogginess, and looked around, slurring like a drunken old age pensioner, "...Whasss all thisss then? Hmmm?"

My vision was beginning to clear and my head was feeling slightly less like lead. It let me fully appreciate my location. I screamed.

"Oh my god! Oh my freaking iconic moronic catatonic god!" Half my body was dangling precariously off the side of a ledge. I flailed around in a panic to heave myself up onto stable ground, all the while screeching like a banshee.

When I finally made it onto the solid marble surface I lay there in a state of shell-shock. "Oh my... Oh no... Oh... Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

I would say composure tended to be a key aspect to my personality but, you know, I hadn't really been expecting that.

But once my friend composure began to return and the terror ebbed out of my system I was able to have a slow and calculating look around. First things first, I was not where I had been before, which had been a shed...in Japan. And this did not look like Japan. The architecture was all wrong. And this kind of fauna did not grow natively to Asian countries. And what would a bloody floating island be doing in Japan? Floating islands do not exist! "Wait... What?!"

Jeez, that scared the crap out of me. A floating island? I did not learn about them in A-level geography. A dream, a dream.

It has to be a dream, I told myself.

An extremely lucid dream, another part of my mind supplied with a smirk. In fact, maybe too lucid...

"Shut up..." I mumbled. It was definitely was not the right time to start a war with my mentality. I needed to find some answers before my mind could jump to the conclusion of being kidnapped and drugged. Oh... Too late.

"Shiiiiittt," I moaned, dragging my hands over my face.

Today was not going to be a good day. I could already tell that much.

Curse you Mr Macklin for not taking instruct in your students whereabouts!

I was wandering around for ages, like, a really long time. Yet I didn't bump into to a single soul as I walked the lonely halls of this palace like structure, which only further lead me to believe I was on some kind of drug.

But then I stumbled across these huge wooden doors. I could probably stack five people on top of each other and still not be as tall as the doors. I had no clue how I would be able to open something so massive, yet I knew I had to at least try. My spidy-senses were tingling after all. Plus, big wooden double doors always meant business.

Surprisingly, the doors were very easy to open. Even more surprising though, was that as soon as I walked in I saw a man morph into a boy.

"Whoooooaaa, someone has definitely slipped some LSD into my drink."

Both people in the room turned to stare at me, dumbfounded. Their jaws were hanging open in the same kind of fashion I imagine a jaw would hang open if someone enquired when you last took a dump. I felt like my presence must have killed whatever mood these people had going on. The little blonde boy did not seem very happy about it once he had managed to collect himself, yet the other person continued to stare. She looked familiar...

"Hey," I pointed at her enthusiastically, jumping up and down, and making a point to wave at her, "I know you! I know you! Well, I don't know know you, but I know you!"

Now both their eye brows were furrowed together. They looked confused.

The blonde boy turned on the purple haired girl. He seemed to be asking questions rapidly, in some other language. Japanese? I didn't understand.

I ran to the girl's side (effectively interrupting their conversation), grabbing her hands and shaking them imploringly, "Were you drugged too? Were you? You were, weren't you? I mean, this can't be real. But then are we having the same hallucinations? Unless you're a hallucination... Ah!" I sprang back from her in alarm, and she stumbled back a few steps too with wide eyes. "Don't come near me, illusion! Don't even think of-"

A booming voice cut over my hysterical rant. I had no idea what it said but the next minute a blinding light, not unlike the one I had seen in the shed, appeared on my inner wrist. It hurt like hell, like someone was pressing a red hot iron to my skin. But it was only there for a second and then the pain was gone.

"There, now we can understand each other. That tattoo should work nicely." I looked to the speaker. It was the boy, that smug looking boy waving around some magical druggie staff.

"You're speaking my language," I said, with a smile dawning upon my face, "Great! Hold on- what tattoo?"

I looked at my wrist. There was a tattoo, sweeping and elegant, in the shape of a Japanese character. Yet it was still a tattoo. "You've given me a tattoo?!"

I did not like tattoos.

"What the bleeding hell have you done, you absolute twat? I don't want a tattoo! Do you know what this thing will look like when I get old?" I demanded shrilly, jabbing at the mark, dark against my pale skin. "It will look distorted and wrinkly. My future grandchildren will never respect me now!"

"A particularly vulgar mouthed little human, aren't you?"

"Little? Little? You Sir, are the only little one I see here!" It was then that he morphed back into an older age. "Okay, not so little. Right." I was beginning to feel a bit faint.

"I can appear to be small, but know that whatever form I may take, visible to your eye, could never possibly match up to my true power. I am unfortunately stuck in this meagre form, all for the benefit of the human eye."

I pulled a face at all his talk of power and meagre forms. "Uh... Who are you?"

"I am Zeus, the god who rules the heavens."

The way he was looking down at me from the thrown- god almighty! He was a pompous little git, wasn't he? Well, maybe not so little. But he could be little and that justified my insult well enough. Might as well be mooning me and telling me to kiss his arse cheeks. But he definitely reminded me of someone I met at some sci-fi convention once. Some guy dressed up as Spock, telling me why a woman couldn't possibly come to the convention as Scotty. Telling me it was completely out of cannon or whatever bollocks he was going on about.

"Are you, like, as cos-player or something?"

"I will call down my lightning upon you girl!"

Now the purple haired girl intervened, leaping between the two of us in a panicked frenzy. "No, no! Zeus, please, that is not necessary." She turned to me with a nervous expression, whispering anxiously, "Please, do not upset him. He really is a god."

"But I'm on drugs." I stated simply.

"Wha-" She gave me a look of bewilderment, before her face switched to uneasiness again, "No, you're not on drugs, at least I don't think you are. I hope I'm not either..."

It suddenly dawned upon me that I was conversing with this girl. So that must mean... "You know English!"

"Eh? I don't know English."

"But you're speaking to me in..." Now it was my turn to be confused, but only for a moment. I took a glance at the symbol of my wrist and managed to put two and two together. I peered round the girl's body at 'Zeus'. He sat lounging on his throne, appearing rather disgruntled as he drawled, "Kusanagi Yui, need I remind you that I am God of the heavens? Whispering is not going to stop me hearing your conversations, especially in my domain."

This so called 'Yui' flinched, immediately jumping to bow and apologise to him.

I on the other hand, swept past Yui with the same kind of frown I have on my face when someone goes into my room uninvited. I crossed my arms and exclaimed, "I'm speaking Japanese!"

"Yes, you are." Zeus watched me with a droll glint to his eyes.

My lips began to take on a smile I could hardly keep down. I spoke again, this time with the loss of my annoyance, "I'm speaking Japanese! Yessss! Get in there!"

"And now that you are speaking Japanese, I would like to ask what you are doing here?"

"I dunno." I shrugged, because really, how could he expect me to answer that? Wasn't he meant to be god of the heavens? He should know.

He appeared to have magically read my mind or, more likely so, was just able to predict the thoughts of a meagre human such as myself. "A God cannot control all, as much as that may seem to be the case. Humans have a certain element of free will to them unfortunately. You may have simply got caught up in something you shouldn't have...Unless you simply act clueless, human. If that were to be the case I will not be afraid to smite you down where you stand. I would not put it past certain other God's to meddle with my plans and by sending you here someone may have done just that."

He cast a lazy glance over me that struck chills down my spine. "Are you a spy, human?"

"The former, I would think." I answered hastily, pretty unnerved by the sudden change in atmosphere. "You know, with the free will. Wandering into your plans by accident and all that malarkey. I don't think I have the aptitude needed to be a spy."

Zeus kept his sharp gaze trained upon me for a moment longer and then let out a sigh, eyes closing in resign. "It seems my planning was not meticulous enough. An unwanted straggler slipped into my net."

"Well...Can you lob me back out of the net?"

"That would be an improvident choice of action on my part. I've already squandered enough energy. I do not wish to waste anymore, for I will need to be in best shape for the days to come."

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me." I groaned, slapping my face into my two welcoming palms.

"I do not kid, human." He told me frigidly, before turning his attention back to the other human in the room, "Kusanagi Yui."

"Y-Yes," Poor girl nearly jumped out of her skin.

"You are in luck. Another human will be joining you with your task."

"Task?"

"Yes, the task I was going to tell you about before we were rudely interrupted." A rogue glare was sent in my direction. "Although I'm not sure this one will be of much help to you."

Was I meant to take offence to that? It was pretty rude. In fact, most of the things he said about me were rather derogatory. God or not, being that rude deserved a slap round the face.

"What is your name human?"

"Alice Roth."

"So then, Alice Roth," Zeus drawled, "Kusanagi Yui. Listen well, for here is my task for you..."


	3. Chapter 3

The door clicked shut behind us and I remained standing in the entrance way with a contemplative look on my face. "What a wonderful welcoming..." I couldn't help but laugh sadly at my own sarcasm. "The bunch of tossers."

It turned out that the great and powerful git of the heavens' task for us was to help a bunch of morally, socially and not-so-physically challenged gods find their way in life on a whirlwind adventure of happiness, love and angst. Basically, we've got to re-enact E.T. but with gods (excluding the part where the government attempts to dissect E.T. because that would be weird). Yui and I would be like Elliot while the gods would be E.T. and we were going to help them home but at the same time try to teach them about ourselves and to extension the human race. Really, that was the only way I could possibly cope with what Zeus was saying. It would sound incredibly stupid though if I were to tell him I had condensed his plan to the plot of a 1980's Spielberg movie. If Zeus were to even know what a movie was. I mean, I had a feeling gods were not as omniscient as religious documents claimed them to be, so in my mind, Zeus probably did not have a grand knowledge of films. And what a great shame that was.

I wasn't so angry about the whole prospect of teaching gods, not after my thoughts about E.T. It was like being able to star in a real life movie. When would I get a chance like this again? My family wouldn't even know I was gone. That's what Thoth said at least. He seemed like a well-to-do grumpy smart arse though, so I trusted him. But that weird press-against-the-wall-harassment stunt he pulled with Yui hadn't left me feeling great. I just hoped he would never do the same to me. I like to have full control over my personal bubble. I can go into other people's bubbles, but other people aren't allowed in mine.

Although my anger had gone from levels of boiling to simmering, it was still very much present. I was simply annoyed at the way Zeus had conducted himself today. Like I have already mentioned, he was a git. He talked like a git, he moved like a git, and his whole plan was just generally git-ish. He had not given forewarning to anyone. I would forgive him for my case because I was a surprise addition, but he could have easily told the god's especially since one was his son and another his brother. Just sit them down over a nice cup of tea and explain, that's what I would have done. And Yui could have at least had some sort of wacky prophecy dream to request her services.

But there was nothing that could be done about it. It was just bothersome really.

Maybe I could teach the gods a sense of politeness and civility while I was here- Zeus too. It might sound stupid, seeing as I can sometimes have a bit of a sailor's mouth, but I at least try to act with graciousness a good portion of the time in my own round-about way.

Yui smiled awkwardly at me. I don't think she was entirely as cosy with swear words as I was. "I guess we'll just have to make the best of it." _Uh-oh, Alice you're not being polite enough._ _You're making her feel uncomfortable. She's Japanese, remember?_

In an instant I put on my most regal air. _Just pretend you're Queen Elizabeth. Just not so old. _"Indeed we shall Miss Yui. I plan to." With a resolute nod I marched into 'our' room, yet a graceful march (the type of march a high-born lady would do), only to trip and fall quite dramatically on an unidentified object. I fell in a mess of flailing limbs and unrefined squawks. Not quite what I had intended.

"Alice!" Yui cried, quickly rushing over to help me up. She pulled me off the floor and into a sitting position. I clutched at my stomach with a moan. "Are you alright?"

"Splendid..." I wheezed, feeling rather winded from my fall. I had landed on something quite hard, straight on the belly as well. I was probably going to get a bruise.

"I can't say the same for myself!" A voice with an impressive twang to its enunciation spoke out and for the life of me I could not work out where it was coming from. It really freaked me out. Same for Yui it seemed like.

"Down here."

We both looked down. It was a little yellow monster.

I punched it.

He flew backwards a good few metres before sitting up and rubbing his face, a clear glare aimed at me. "Argh! What did you do that for?"

"I'm sorry. You sacred me." I exclaimed defensively, though feeling rather relieved he wasn't showing any kind of hostile nature.

"A doll?" Yui said, with her expression being somewhere between horror and amazement.

"How rude!" The monster (I guess I'll be calling him) stamped a foot. "I'm Melissa. I'm here to look after you... and I suppose this one too." He added after a moment of deliberation.

_Well, I can see my stay here will be enjoyable, _I thought dryly. _Better turn this monster's frown upside-down!_

"How rude! I'm Alice Roth." I spoke in an imitation of the monster, even copying his strange accent. Hopefully he would take my joke in good taste. "Not 'this one'."

Melissa seemed like he wanted to laugh, but instead said with a thoughtful frown. "I'm not sure whether to like you or not..."

_On the cusp of liking me, I see._ It was a start at least.

"Wait, you're going to look after us?" Yui enquired, kneeling down to match my and the monster's height.

"Certainly! Zeus fashioned me from clay." He told us proudly.

"Clay?"

"Heh, like that scene from Ghost, was it?" I chuckled at my joke. I wasn't expecting anyone else in the room to get it though. Maybe Yui...

"Unfortunately not." Melissa replied with a raised eyebrow, clearly both disgruntled and amused at my imaginings of Zeus creating him in such a sensual manner.

I was shocked (quite happily so) to see Melissa understood the reference. "Hey, the little clay monster knows what I'm talking about."

"I'm not a monster!" He exclaimed indignantly and turned from me with a noise of dissatisfaction to face Yui. "Most myths describe humans as having been made by gods from clay or earth. In my case, there was a little mistake."

"A big mistake." I snorted. I hadn't meant to, nor had I meant to make such a comment. Well, I had, but it wasn't meant to sound so rude. At least I had the decency to look ashamed afterwards.

"But I do like my body." Melissa said, apparently ignoring my comment.

"Body confidence!" I enthused with a fist pump. Don't judge me. I needed to offer an apology somehow or, at the minimum, to rectify my slip of the tongue.

"A bit small-" He continued, again ignoring me.

"That's true..."

"-but it's sturdy and mobile."

I nodded enthusiastically. "That's it! Focus and the good points!"

Melissa had waddled over to the table, all the time pointedly snubbing me. He pulled himself up and placed what I assumed were stubby hands onto his stubby hips. "In this garden I am your upperclassman. I'll take good care of you. When you're troubled, come talk to me...

"I certainly shall!"

"When you want to cry, you can borrow my shoulder-"

Cry? Ew, no. I didn't cry. Well... hardly. The last time I had cried was back in year seven when I split my head open on the pavement. An old lady on a motorcycle had knocked me over. You should never speed, even if you are over 80. Old age is not a valid excuse in court.

Anyway, I personally thought crying could be rather selfish at times. Not to mention babyish.

But then, rather foolishly, I went and voiced that opinion aloud. "Crying is for pansies."

That was the last straw for Melissa. He was the angriest clay monster I had ever seen- the only clay monster I had ever seen- but still... "Can you stop interrupting my upperclassman speech? Do you know how long I've been rehearsing this?"

"Oh, uh, yeah. Sorry." I offered a sheepish thumbs up in repentance. "Good job."

Melissa didn't appear to accept that as a worthy form of apology. He continued to glare at me.

Yui stifled a giggle and smiled at the clay creature. At least someone was happy. "Thank you, Melissa."

* * *

><p><em>TA-DA! Chapter 3 is served. Thank you for the lovely follows, favourites and reviews. I'm glad to know everyone has liked it so far.<em>

_And- this is pretty important so make sure your ears are firmly on your head- this story will no longer be completely pointless and cliche because I've thought of an amazing plotline (not to toot my own horn or anything- no rudeness implied) which is just to awesome to think just works so well with what I've already wrote. Its just so-ARRGGHHHH! I'm really happy with myself right now so I'm just go and do some random interpretive dance to let off some steam. Goodbye!_

_P.S. Hope you liked the movie references. Expect more._


	4. Chapter 4

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Or, if I want to be specific (which I do), it was the wrong side of the sofa, or couch, or loveseat... I'm not good with specifics. Let's call it cushioned furniture.

So, I woke up on the wrong side of the cushioned furniture. Why was I on cushioned furniture you ask? That is because I was now sharing 'Yui's' room- aka 'our' room- as had already been mentioned by Zeus, I was an 'unwanted straggler'. There were not enough rooms in the girl's dormitories apparently. I did ask Thoth why I could not just take the room of one of the spirit students and Zeus magic it back to wherever it came from, but apparently that would mean Zeus squandering more energy than needed. I think that would be the argument against anything I wanted really.

_Zeus, help me! I'm drowning in lava!_

_Sorry, Alice. I don't want to waste my energy._

Don't look at me like that. It could happen.

I was also told I was being selfish by wanting a student to be vanished for my own personal gain. They are your classmates now, Miss Roth, Thoth had told me. It was hard to see them as classmates though. They were shining balls of energy previously; it was difficult for me to imagine them as anything else. And the last part of Thoth's argument had been that sharing a room was 'character building'. If I had to character build with anyone though, I was glad it was Yui. She seemed pretty nice so far. Ok, understatement of the year. She was super nice! She probably hadn't said a bad word in her life. No wonder Zeus had chosen her.

Anyway, back to the wrong side of the cushioned furniture... Why did I wake up on the wrong side you ask? Simple, it was a school day. And unfortunately, school days meant waking up early. Not because I took initiative and set myself an alarm or Yui had woke me up. No... This was because, somewhat inexplicably, my body had an internal clock that knew quite precisely when it was a good time to get up. I really hated my biological clock some days- _today being one of those days_. My dad told me that it's an instinctual thing, going back to when humans were monkeys, and chickens were dinosaurs. Yes, I know the dinosaurs and our Neanderthal-monkey-men-ancestors probably were not around at the same time but you get the gist of what I'm saying, right?

No?

It was a long time ago. That's what I'm saying.

Supposedly, instinctually, we can sense the changes in our environment like light and heat and _blah blah blah_ to know when it's time to rise and shine. But then I asked my Dad why I slept till noon at weekends when the sun was high in the sky, yet on weekdays I would be up before it was even light outside. He was stumped on that one. Mum had chimed in then and said it was because that was the routine my body had settled into. I've always said she was the voice of logic.

There was no real problem with my internal alarm most of the time. It was rather helpful in truth. However, it was just messing with my sleep pattern today. It was a weekday, but technically I was still meant to be on holiday for another few days, which meant I had prepared myself for sleeping in to at least nine for some time yet.

No sleep-in today though. My body knew I had school apparently.

I rose from my makeshift bed and quickly spotted a sight that made me completely forget my morning grumpiness.

Yui was sprawled across her bed, appearance hilariously alike a starfish, and a chunky strand of hair stuck to her cheek with drool. It was rather hard to keep in the laughter that threatened to spill out. Yui just looked so unlike the Yui I had seen yesterday. Yesterday she had been pretty and dignified- graceful even. It seemed she carried none of those traits into sleep however.

I scrambled for the bag I had dropped down last night and fished out a camera. It was a camera I knew to have a loud _click_ on the moment of capture and also a hideously glary flash.

Yui awoke with a shriek the moment the flash went off.

I couldn't hold in the laughter any longer.

"This one will definitely be going in my holiday album."

...

"Huh? Are we early?"

It seemed Yui and I had misheard the time of arrival yesterday or we were the only ones interested in escaping the garden. Maybe the gods enjoyed the idea of being trapped inside here for the rest of their immortal lives.

_Oh wait... There's the airy Norse god._

Balder came hurtling into that hall, straight towards Yui. Just at the point of wondering whether I should rugby tackle him to save Yui's from being trampled, the god slipped and fell flat on his face. _He's worse than me,_ I relished. His clumsiness made me feel so much better about myself.

"G-Good morning." He croaked from the floor.

"Good morning Balder." Yui replied somewhat awkwardly and helped him up.

I smiled and also spoke to offer a hello. "Good morn-"

"I'm so happy you remembered my name."

_Rude!_

He interrupted me as I was trying to greet him, the bastard.

He was seemingly unaware of my presence, far too enraptured with Yui to even notice they weren't the only two in the room. What was that I was saying about teaching gods manners? It seemed immediate lessons were required. I decided then that Yui could specialise in teaching human emotions and I would specialise in common courtesy- needed by all creatures, from the disliked flea to almighty gods. Though I was willing to believe flees might have more courtesy than these beings. It appeared I would have my work cut out for me.

I gave Yui the look. You know the look. The grumpy, exasperated look that begs the understanding of another person. Yui replied with a half-confused, half-apologetic shrug. "Balder, I'm relieved you came. _Alice_ and I," She put emphasis on my name as an attempt to pull me into the conversation I had been so rudely left out of, "thought no one else was coming."

"It's my first time attending a school. I'm so excited." He smiled at the purple haired girl, not once looking or acknowledging me in any way.

I was tempted to start a tribal rain dance to see if he would notice.

I gave Yui another look. Did he even just listen to her? Did he have functioning eyes? Did he not understand basic body language?

Right, it was time for lesson one: social awareness.

"Excuse me," I began, but yet again, I was interrupted.

Did he literally tune me out? Was I actually invisible?

_AM I EVEN HERE?_

I started my rain dance.

I listened sulkily, dancing the dance I had learnt from the documentary 'the legacy of South American pygmy men', as Balder spoke. I didn't like his closeness to Yui. "Hey... Yesterday, you flew on Pegasus with that Greek god, didn't you?" _Back off, bro. I've got a nasty right hook, even against a god._

"Huh? Yes." _Yes, she did. She told me about it and she said it was very enjoyable._ _So don't ask or do anything sketchy, Mr. Norse god._

I started chanting for rain.

Yui cast me a sidelong glance, a questioning and possibly slightly weirded-out glance, but really it also looked like a cry for help. _I know I'm doing a strange dance Yui and it may look like I'm not helping you in the slightest, but it's all for the greater good. It's all part of lesson one._

"Have you always been close?" _Whoa, man. She only just met him._

"No, that was my first time meeting Apollon. He took me to see what kind of place this is." _Yep, you see. She only just met him. Point proven._

"Really? That was the first time... Then, you met me first." Balder took a step even closer to Yui, and to my complete horror and Yui's surprise he lay a hand on her face. _That is not social awareness! _Lesson one was quickly slipping down the drain and into the sea. I could almost see the social awareness floating off into the distance along the shimmering tears of my failure.

I stopped dancing and heaved a sigh. It was time for physical intervention it seemed.

I jumped between a freaked out Yui and an enamoured Balder, my hands pushing them apart, probably with more force than was necessary.

"A-Alice?" He exclaimed in surprise, barely recovering from my push. He had nearly fallen to the floor again.

"That's right Mr," I said angrily, "I am here! And you have failed lesson one!"

"Lesson one?" Both he and Yui looked confused.

Oh, I didn't even know where to begin with him. First, he almost barrelled into Yui when trying to say hello. Second, he didn't pick up the presence of a second being in the slightest (even though I gave a lovely rendition of a traditional South American mantra). And thirdly, he engaged in inappropriate, unwanted, unreciprocated touching. He had appalling manners!

I was completely ready to tell him so too.

Fortunately for Balder, at that moment, Apollon and Tsukiyomi joined the scene. "Good morning fairy! Good morning Balder! Good morning... Uh..."

He didn't know my name.

"Dammit!" I cursed loudly, causing several startled looks in my direction.

Why did these gods have no social awareness?

* * *

><p><em>Your reviews really spurred me on. I was surprised at how quickly I finished this chapter. Thanks though.<em>

_And I hope you all had very happy Halloweens!_


	5. Chapter 5

"No one's coming then." Yui's statement summed up our thoughts.

"Yes, I guess we're the only ones after all." Balder agreed with her and I scowled. _Extreme bum licking_, those were my thoughts.

That probably sounded a bit salty. Anyone else could have spoken the exact same words and I wouldn't have felt angry at all. But he failed lesson one. I had reason to be salty.

"Do they not understand? Don't they get it?" Apollon griped and I could only think, _probably not if they share the same intellect as that I've seen thus far_. Like, how many years old were these guys meant to be? I am sure I would be a bloody genius with over a thousand different degrees to my name if I was immortal. Yet Balder hadn't even picked up basic social awareness in his eternity of living. "Graduation is the only way out of this garden."

"Our entrance ceremony is today..." Yui said concernedly. I turned towards her nonplussed. Was that some kind of Japanese 'beginning of the year assembly'? What did it entail?

"What do you do at an entrance ceremony anyway?" Balder seemed to be having similar thought to me, the bastard.

"Yeah," I said after a quick frown at the Norse god. "What do you do?"

Tsukiyomi looked surprised. "You do not know?"

"But you're human!" Apollon exclaimed. That's some discriminative thinking there. As if he believed all humans did exactly the same thing.

"I'm not Japanese though." I answered deprecatingly.

"You don't have them where you're from, Alice?" Yui asked and I shook my head.

"Not really. It's more of a 'Hi, have a nice year, go work now.' type of assembly. Not a ceremony."

"Oh okay, this is something new for you too then." She smiled kindly at me, which quite easily triggered a toothy grin to spread across my face. I really was glad Zeus had chosen Yui. I can't imagine how difficult this year would be if the human he chose was someone I didn't like. "The new students all assemble. It's kind of a celebration. They promise to study hard together..."

"Promise to study hard together." Tsukiyomi had whipped out a notebook and was now jotting down Yui's explanation. It was a funny quirk for such a mild mannered person. The sight made me feel reminiscent of the people I had befriended back home. I decided then he would be my first god friend, there would be no ifs or buts about it.

"A-Ah... You don't need to take notes." Yui told him.

"A-Ah... You don't need to take notes." Tsukiyomi repeated. I burst out laughing. Yep, he was definitely becoming my friend.

"That isn't what I meant..."

"In other words, is an entrance ceremony a contract ritual?" Balder mused and I nearly choked on my saliva.

"Eh?" Yui looked so overwhelmed. The poor thing.

"If you break your promise will you be met with a terrible curse?" They were on entirely the wrong thread of thought here.

"Eh?"

"Will we need a sacrifice?"

"Bagsy not me!" I shouted quickly.

Hey, if we were going to be rolling with this (and I would not put it past a god to do so) I was going to make sure it would not be at my expense.

"It's not like that at all..." Yui rectified the gods' frazzled thinking, not before giving me a reproachful stare, the type a mother would give when telling their child not to encourage their siblings. "It isn't anything scary."

"It isn't? Good." Apollon said.

"That's a relief." Balder sighed.

"Isn't it, Bastar-I mean Balder!" Yui gave me another reproachful stare. It wasn't my fault. It had just slipped out.

Fortunately, Balder had failed lesson one, and thus had not heard my slip up.

Apollon had heard though. He laughed uncomfortably, and changed the subject. "In any case, let's split up and convince everyone to attend the entrance ceremony with us. Let's do our best so we can graduate together!"


	6. Chapter 6

"Hey, hey! Tsukiyomi, my main man!" I ran after the quiet god, with a cheery smile plastered to my face which (admittedly) did falter slightly when I realised what I had said. It was the type of thing that would turn you into a social outcast in less than five seconds back home. But I was not back home! I could still salvage the situation.

The Japanese god stopped and turned to me. "Main man?" Tsukiyomi echoed, a faintly baffled look crossing his face.

"A-Eh-Yeah! Main man!" I said with awkward enthusiasm, "Human greetings, you know..."

"Ah, I see." It was almost as if he had been struck by an enlightening piece of information, for one moment his eyes had been watching me rather blankly and then the next they flashed in what I would assume to be revelation. He moved to stand before me and bowed politely, "Hey, hey. Alice, my main man."

I was struggling. I really was struggling.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry... So I settled for both.

My sudden laughter seemed to scare Tsukiyomi. Maybe my behaviour was just a little bit too bizarre for him. "Are you feeling well, Alice? Are you feverish?"

"No," I whimpered, wiping joyous tears from my eyes. "You've just made me extremely happy."

"So your actions are normal. Good." He pronounced. He studied me for a moment as I did my best to straighten up and calm down and then asked, "Are all humans like this?"

"Probably not." I answered him, feeling intent on moving him away from the strange god mindset that all humans must act alike. "Some, I'm sure. But mostly we're all very different, so you can never expect one human's reactions to be the same.

"Oh."

"Yep, it's all very interesting stuff, but not the reason for me being here." I told him with a strong nod of the head, "I am here to help you look for our classmates." _And also to become your ultimate human pal..._

I could only hope he wouldn't send me away. That would be rather sad.

"If you wish," He replied, beginning to walk on.

I stood in the same spot, blinking in surprise. That had been much easier than expected.

I ran after him and slowed when I reached his side. "You're not going to tell me it would be more efficient to search separately or something?"

"Why would I do that?" He asked me and I offered a noncommittal shrug in return. He gave a hum of consideration and turned to walk down a flight of stairs. I hurried after and almost fell over the banister in my rush.

I mentally told myself to calm down. Though it was easier said than done. I always managed to get myself into a tizzy when I felt pressured or awkward socially.

_But I really want him to be my friend_, my mind whined.

_Alright, alright. I'm trying._

"So..." I began uncomfortably, "Want to be my frien-dammit!"

I just could not control my mouth sometimes. It could be quite a problem at times, especially with teachers. I had learnt just to keep my mouth shut during my years of schooling. But sometimes, in the most embarrassing situations, words would spill out before I could stop them. I have tried to restrain before but it's always the same- if I think about something enough it is sure to be said.

"Your friend?"

It was alright. I could recover this situation.

"Yeah..." I breathed uneasily, "Friend... Like that guy you were with before! The one with the blue hair."

"My brother?"

"Your brother!" I exclaimed.

Well that was a shocker. They looked nothing alike.

"So, is he like the 'you're my brother' brother or is he the 'I popped out of the same woman' type of brother... Ok, let me rephrase that-"

"Humans pop out of their mothers?" If I wasn't mistaken Tsukiyomi almost looked aghast- or at least as aghast as someone as impassive as him could get.

"Well, yeah..." I admitted, "How were you born?"

"I was washed out of my father's right eye."

"Alrighty then... That's cool... I guess." I quickly changed topic, summoning up new gusto. "Right, so, friends! Buddies! Chums! They are great. What do you say, friends?"

I stuck my hand out for him to shake. He seemed unsure what to do with it though so I took imitative and grabbed his hand myself. I shook it firmly and Tsukiyomi let me carry out the action, perplexed.

"Another human interaction." I explained hastily.

He nodded and said, "I am not quite sure what a human friendship involves but I am willing to try. It may teach me something important."

"Exactly!" I agreed warmly. I was pretty proud. I was rather upset I didn't have a camera to commemorate the moment if truth be told.

_My first god friend._ I sighed happily. It was like using the potty for the first time all over again.

Now quite excited by my achievement, I walked with a new spring to my step as we wandered the schools corridors. I spoke cheerily, new ideas flocking into my head, "So, I was thinking, since we're friends now, we could do with having a squad."

"A squad?"

"That's right. A squad. However, how are we meant to be a squad with only two members? That is why we must hunt out a third. One who will not clash with the principles we hold strongly in our hearts."

Tsukiyomi was staring at me blankly and I took that as a good sign, because rarely had I seen him without that vacant look.

I continued, "I wish to nominate Hades as our next comrade. I believe he will make a valuable addition to our friendship group! I mean, come on, have you seen him? He seems like a pretty cool guy."

"I am not very well acquainted with Hades but I don't think he is partial to closeness with others."

"Well, that's the point of befriending people," I told him in a teacher-like manner, "To get them to open up to you. We're friends after all, and now I know that you came out of your Dad's eyeball."

"Oh."

"Oh indeed, Tsukiyomi. Oh indeed."

* * *

><p><em>I do actually like Balder. He is an interesting character. However, for the sake of comedy (and Alice's sanity), he shall sometimes receive a bashing as will many of the gods.<em>

_Only the squad will remain un-bashed. (+Yui)_

_So do not worry yourself OmuiYuni- Balder is not always a dingus, only sometimes._

_And Ruby Calendula, your enthusiasm is both strange and awe-inspiring to me. Thank you._

_And thanks to everybody else too. I offer you all an internet high five._


	7. Chapter 7

I know now why Tsukiyomi didn't send me away. He knew we wouldn't be able to convince anyone even if we did find someone. Then when I asked him why he was going along with Apollon, he told me he had intended to use the time for a stroll. Now that was some clever thinking. It's what you'd expect from one of my friends.

I may not seem like it sometimes, or rather most of the time, but deep down I am extremely level-headed. I can be. Honest! At least where it truly matters that is.

And so level-headedness is a quality I desire in my friends. I can make a few exceptions here and there, for instance if they had the most amazing sense of humour. Then they can be a bit of an idiot. I'll let them off on that. But if there are no redeeming qualities to make up for the lack of sense then I'm much less likely to want to or accidently (it has happened before) befriend them.

Thus explaining my desire for a friendship with Tsukiyomi and Hades. They were a couple of cool cucumbers. And they even had quirks. I love quirks!

The trouble was I still had yet to actually have a proper introduction with Hades, so my fantasies of amity with the underworld god might have been destined never see the light of day.

But at that moment, I was friends with Tsukiyomi and that alone left me feeling chipper as a bird. I followed him around babbling nonsense all the while as we set up for the entrance ceremony, and to my absolute delight, he was diligently taking notes on almost everything I said.

The time for our roll call came about and unfortunately we weren't much better off than where we had started. Tsukiyomi had been correct in thinking no one would turn up- almost. Dionysus came. He seemed pretty awesome.

All in all the entrance ceremony had been pretty boring, not that I would tell Yui that. She had put so much effort into making it a wonderful experience for us all. I also wasn't keen on letting Apollon or Balder find out that I wasn't as riveted by the ceremony as they were. Those two had been on the edge of their seats throughout the entire thing, I swear.

There had been the name calling, there had been a speech, but not much excitement. I had never been to keen on formal events. At least I got a friend out of it.

...

And so it was time for our angst-ridden school year to begin.

Our first class: human anatomy.

Thoth prowled before his chalk board, already covered in knowledge that was lost on me. It just looked like a whole load of scribbles to me. Maybe speaking Japanese didn't equate to reading Japanese. I would have to talk to Zeus about that.

Starting with the basics. The human body. I understood. But if the gods couldn't grasp this then I was just about ready to keel over there and then. They should understand. It would only make sense, considering how similar gods and humans seemed physically, unless... I really hoped that bulge under all of their trousers was what I thought it was and not some magical, talking, juggling-

Or maybe I was jumping the gun a bit.

"-The muscles in the human body can be categorized in several different ways." I breathed a sigh of relief as Thoth spoke. _Good, not sex-ed. _

Don't get me wrong, I was completely up for a bit of sexual education-wait, wait! That sounded really bad. Let me start over.

I was willing to participate in a class explaining the birds and the bees- I did have a suspicion they may need it seeing as Tsukiyomi had apparently been birthed from his father's right eye- yet I wasn't sure if my brain would be able to take the questions these gods would be sure to ask. How stupid would they be able to get with them? I tried not to think of it...

Key word being 'tried'.

I was stirred from my rather unpleasant musings by the sound of total disruption. The class was in chaos- people going about a monster or something. I truly felt quite lost. I probably should have been paying more attention but I had been distracted by my bizarre erotic internal monologue.

All I could really draw from the situation was that Thoth was not very happy.

He ended up leaving the classroom entirely, Yui following behind rather timidly. Poor thing.

She was probably going to end up getting trapped against a wall again.

I turned around from my front row desk with a raised eyebrow, asking the silent question 'Who's to blame?' Each god pointed to another.

I tutted and sang gibingly, "Oooh, you guys are in trouble."


	8. Chapter 8

_Click!_

_Click, click!_

My camera's shutters opened and closed at a rapid rate as Melissa stood upon our table, periodically striking a new pose. Yui sat at the table beside him, watching in amusement as she sipped on her tea and I lay sprawled over my temporary bed/cushioned furniture using one of my most expensive cameras. It was a proper professional one. I told Melissa it was an honour to have his picture taken with it, but he hadn't seem to care very much about how prestigious the device was , he was more interested in the partaking of his first photo shoot. I didn't mind too much though. This was our relationship dynamic now. Although having mellowed greatly, we still poked fun at each other on occasions. We had settled in routinely banter (as I liked to call it) and I would be a liar if I were to say I didn't enjoy it.

"The pose looks stupid. Stop sticking your bum out."

Melissa huffed and said grumpily, "I thought you said this was just for fun."

"It is," I answered frankly, "But fun or not, I refuse to take stupid pictures. You look like a 12 year old girl who's only just discovered instagram."

Yui chuckled but my joke was lost on Melissa, "Instagram... What's that? And why would I seem like a 12 year old girl?"

I waved him off, "Bah, don't worry yourself with it."

He shrugged and continued his posing, speaking to Yui distractedly as he moved, "So you're going to this 'seaside school' thing, then?"

"Yes, today I ordered swimsuits and food for everyone at the school store." Yui said.

I shot up suddenly at the mention of her purchases, leaving my camera abandoned on a cushion. Melissa didn't look happy that I had interrupted his photo shoot. "Did you get buckets and spades?"

"Er...No, sorry."

"Darn," I muttered, "Sandcastles are the best part of the beach."

"You know though, I'm sure you could go order them now if you wanted." Yui told me good-naturedly, "The shop is really amazing. I was so surprised! You can buy anything. In fact, the store accepts orders for free."

"Wha-Really! That is awesome!" I gushed.

Talk of free things had always made my ears perk up. At the call of 'free samples' or 'free giveaway' I would come running. It's not like I'm hard done by, not in the slightest. I'd say my family is pretty well off to be honest, but just the idea of getting something for nothing can be rather thrilling really. I'd always come back home from events with pockets stuffed full of company pens, perfume testers and pretzel packets that I would most likely never look at again.

Free stuff was the best. Period.

I tapped my feet excitedly as I spoke. I was raring to go. "Do you think they'll let me order a bed as well?"

"Probably."

"Oh my gosh!" I leapt to my feet. "Right, I'm off."

"Hey, where do you think you're going? We haven't finished yet." Melissa dived off the edge of the table to latch himself onto my leg. I screeched in shock. I tried my best to shake him off but ended up tumbling to the floor in the process.

"Alright, alright!" I exclaimed, rising from the floor clumsily. I hoisted Melissa out of the bin where he had landed and carried him by the scruff of the neck back over to the table. I dumped him there, rather unceremoniously and threw myself onto the cushioned furniture, my face set in a sulky look. And in a sulky look it would stay! At least until I got my free stuff...

Yui had been watching us worriedly for some time, yet now she seemed to deem it safe to speak again. She laughed uneasily, "Well, I'll be going out for a bit now. I'll see you both later."

Melissa gave her a confused look but I was downright affronted.

"I bought something special at the store today, so... Bye!"

Yui left in a hurry and I stared after her, mouth ajar. I raised a demanding finger to point at the door, "Why the hell does she get to leave so easily?"


	9. Chapter 9

I fanned myself as I wandered around the school in the muggy night-time heat. I must admit, I regretted being so quick to run out on Melissa after Yui left. Our room had been rather cool but outside it was super hot. Back in the motherland- great old Britannia- muggy nights would only come about for a small portion of the year. I wasn't so used to warmth. I much preferred cooler temperatures because, if you think about it, when it's cold you can put as many layers on as you want, but if it's warm there is only a certain amount of clothes you can take off before it becomes indecent. And that is the reason for winter being best season ever (plus the reasons of Christmas and snow).

But now it was summer, all because of gitty Zeus doing some more gitty magic tricks.

At least I got to go to the beach tomorrow. I was looking forward to impressing everyone with a sandcastle fort. Not to brag or anything, but I'm pretty damn good at sandcastle building.

So I was off to the school shop (wherever the bloody place was) to get some free stuff.

I was enjoying my aimless ambling through the school grounds until the moment I heard some very shocking words.

"I love you."

_WHAT?_

I dived behind a nearby bush, my brain working faster than I would have liked.

That had been Apollon and Yui. I had just heard Apollon confess to Yui. That couldn't be right. They hardly knew each other! These gods really did not know how to socialize. You do not just tell someone you love them after a few days. That is not the done thing. I don't even think it's possible to fall in love within a few days.

I was beginning to wonder if it would be a good idea to storm over there and intervene. It was like that Balder situation all over again but this time a hell of a lot worse. Balder was a Norse god and that's bad enough, but a Greek god? Everyone knows how promiscuous they are.

What was he going to do to Yui? Touch her? Kiss her? Do the dirty?

I knew Yui was a sensible, traditional sort of girl but she was also very passive. At what point would she say no?

Just as I was about to leap from my spot in the shrubbery I heard Apollon speak again, "I love your strength and optimism. I wish I had them. Share some with me."

_Oh thank the stars! Praise the god of anti-libertine. There better be a god of anti-libertine or anti-wanton because I seriously want to thank them._

I let out a breath of relief. I would not have to conduct an emergency reinforcement of lesson one.

I headed off to order my freebees then with a thankful smile upon my face. _No doing the dirty today..._

* * *

><p><em>I am going to admit, this chapter was inspired by a review. So, this chapter is dedicated to NightlyRowenTree who made the amusing comment about the greek gods being man-whores.<em>

_Hey so, do you want to know what libertine or wanton means? If you already know, good on you. But, because they are some rather obscure words, I shall now indulge into their meanings._

_The fundamental definitions:_

_Libertine- A man indulging in pleasures (most likely of a sexual nature) without following any sort of moral code. Basically, a really horrible man-whore._

_Wanton- Here we have the lady version of a libertine._


	10. Chapter 10

We all stood in the school gardens, gathered for our seaside trip. I had bedecked myself with multiple buckets and spades, a bag of savoury snacks, and a camera hanging around my neck. I would probably regret the sheer volume of stuff I had brought with me later.

"Everyone is here! Everyone came!" Apollon cheered, gazing gleefully at his fellow gods. Some looked happier than others to be here.

"Stating the obvious," I whispered into Yui's ear. She hushed me and batted me away. Obviously I wasn't allowed to poke fun at Apollon.

I frowned sulkily and moved to stand beside my new bud, Tsukiyomi. Susanoo glared at me. I shot a sassy look back. _He's my friend now, bitch. Mmhm._ I was rather tempted to click my fingers in a 'Z' shape at him.

But maybe that would be too sassy.

Apollon waved a beckoning hand, his smile glaringly happy. "Then, follow us. We're leaving. Let's go to Seaside school!"

...

I marched along the path to the beach in the wake of Yui and Apollon. I stuck close to Tsukiyomi as we walked, offering interesting facts about humans and letting him write them down...for future reference? _Well, maybe there would be an exam on humans this year_. The notes would be pretty useful then.

Hades walked right at the back of the group and, to my disappointment, he balked every time someone came near him. I would have to think tactically about talking to him.

But I would save that for later, for as of that moment, my worries lay with a growling sea god. He and Loki trudged behind us, seemingly complaining about the struggles of a human body, however I was sure- positively sure- that I could feel Susanoo's constant glare against my back. It was rather unsettling, but I did my best to ignore it.

"Over 7 billion?" Tsukiyomi seemed unable to believe what I told him, his pencil paused above his pad as he looked at me for conformation.

"Uh-huh," I nodded, "And our numbers just keep going up and up and up! It's causing a whole load of problems. Unemployment, quick spread disease, famine...Hey, you gods might end up getting more followers out of it though. Hard times push people to religion after all. Oh, I've got a good one. Did you know that an average human farts 14 times a day? That's something to look forward to, eh Suki?"

"I have noticed a development of flatulent behaviour from my body." Tsukiyomi said contemplatively.

"Farts are healthy," I told him, "You know, as Shrek once said, 'Better out than in'."

"This Shrek is an important figure in your society?"

"Well, he's had a lot of media coverage as of recent. Shrek is love, Shrek is life..." I saw Tsukiyomi writing and quickly said, "Don't put down that last bit."

"...'Don't put down that last bit'."

I sighed sadly and shook my head, "Ok, fine. It doesn't matter. I guess I might get a laugh out of it in the future. Anyway, let's move on from humans and talk about our squad. I have a plan, but it requires better hiding spots..."

...

Tsukiyomi and I had gradually let ourselves drop back in our beach procession, letting even the sluggish Loki and Susanoo overtake us. And then, as the open countryside turned into a forest, I knew the time to enact my plan was drawing near.

Luckily, Yui came along, providing the perfect distraction. I tapped Tsukiyomi's shoulder and jabbed a thumb towards a thicker patch of the trees that lined the road. We ducked behind a thick trunked tree, where I dropped my large amount of baggage ready to be picked up later, as Yui approached Hades.

"Hades, you're getting separa-"

"Stay back." He commanded, holding a hand up, halting Yui dead in her tracks. "Do you want to be miserable?" _Not the best frame of mind to be in..._ That would have to change.

Yui gawked at him. "Huh? Um, I..."

Then Hades did the most brilliant thing I had ever seen. He shuffled backwards, effectively emulating the late Michael Jackson's moon walk, hand still raised. I had to stuff a fist into my mouth to stop my laughter from blowing our cover.

"I accepted Apollon's invitation to this sunny Seaside school," Hades hugged his body, reminding me of an angsty high school boy. It might have been the floppy dark hair that did it. "But I'm staying farther away than usual, so as not to ruin it with my misery."

"R-Right..." Yui mumbled awkwardly. She stood there for a moment, watching Hades, seemingly not knowing what to do with herself. But then she turned and jogged away, back towards the front of the group where Apollon had initiated a Seaside school song.

Once Yui was gone Hades exhaled glumly. His shoulders slumped and he began to walk again. I tugged at tugged at Tsukiyomi's sleeve, waving my other hand wildly. It was time!

We crept out behind Hades, taking care to keep our footsteps as light as possible. As we neared Hades back I held up three fingers to Tsukiyomi. _One... Two... Three!_

We jumped him.

Hades cried out in shock as we latched onto his neck and shoulders. He thrashed about widely, but I clung like a little crazy monkey. "Stop, stop!" I shouted.

"Alice? Tsukiyomi?" He settled down then but his body still remained tense. It appeared he was not one to have his personal bubble invaded either.

"Yep, it us." I told him, my voice muffled slightly from my face being squashed into his back, which hurt quite a lot for your information. I think my nose may have been bleeding. Maybe I had been a bit too violent in my ambush. "Suki, keep a hold of him." I unattached myself from the underworld god, leaving the moon god to remain holding him, and paced around Hades to stand before him.

With my hands upon my hips and chin tilted upward, I channelled my inner Mafioso. "We're here on important business. Business- that if you mention to anyone else- you will be answering to me. And so accordingly...We want you to be part of our squad! Well, I suggested it but Tsukiyomi was all up for it, so, ta-da! Here we are, offering up exclusive membership. And just between you and me, a little personal opinion and such...I would take up the offer. It's a pretty good deal."

Hades was staring at me, mouth agape and eyebrows furrowed in incomprehension. I guess we probably could have gone about this a better way and maybe I could have phrased it somewhat differently, but what was done was done. There was no changing it now.

The only small remedy I could offer to my bamboozling speech was to sum up the proposal in a sentence. "We want to be friends."

The Greek god watched me still, yet now his look was less of incredulousness and more along the lines of dismal. "I will cause you only misery."

"That's not really a yes or no answer." I huffed half-heartedly and made my way towards Hades, but he flinched as I drew near, "Look, Suki is touching you and nothing bad has happened to him."

"Ah, a snake." Tsukiyomi said, in an oddly calm reaction to the creature. However, I had a different reaction- something along the lines of hysterical.

I screamed and jumped back a few steps, away from the snake that was now wrapping its way around Tsukiyomi's legs, fangs bared. "H-Hang on Suki!"

I swept a gnarled stick from the ground and leapt forwards, striking at the snake before it could bite Tsukiyomi. Fortunately the snake went flying. Unfortunately Hades used the opportunity to wrench himself from capture and make a run for it.

I span around far too late, for Hades' form was already growing distant.

"Damn it! He got away..."

* * *

><p><em>I'm going to assume all the grammar is corrects but...meh.<em>

_Anyway, thanks for all the support with this. This chapter will be dedicated to OmuiYuni for subconsciously making me bring up Shrek in this chapter. I didn't even realise I was writing it but then 'Shrek is love, Shrek is life' just appeared on the screen, then I thought of your review and I was just like "Ahhhhh...". But I quite like it so it stayed._


	11. Chapter 11

A collective gasp rose from our group as we stepped out onto the golden sands. The beach was beautiful. Props to Zeus for making it so well. The best thing I had ever created was a wonky stool in woodwork class, or maybe the jumper for my cat in design. That had been a pretty great jumper. Although the cat didn't seem to like it. Don't put animals in clothes. That's all I can say.

But yeah, the beach...It was pretty damn fantastic. British beaches are not quite the topical, palm tree infested, sunbathing worthy landscapes you see in Virgin Airways' adverts, so you can imagine how nice a change this beach was for me. Don't get me wrong, the beaches I had grown up with were nice, but this was on a whole new level of _boarder la mer_.

The water was so clear and the sand was so warm, and the floating island! Oh man, those floating islands. They looked spectacular from where we stood.

It seemed we were all in agreement. This was one good beach.

"The beach sure is great!" Susanoo exclaimed in delight. I pulled a sour face at him. _Yeah, I covered that in my internal monologue, stupid. _I guess I was still annoyed at him for his constant chaperone-like glares.

Balder smiled lightly at Loki and asked, "Aren't you glad you came?"

With a shrug, he replied, "Yeah, it's not bad." _Ugh, that's such a tsundre thing to say._

Quite unexpectedly, I discovered Hades had finally moved from his back-of-the-pack position and was now slowly, in a trace like state, walking past me. "Sea..." I heard him murmur.

I'm not going to lie. I nearly did jump him again. Luckily Tsukiyomi put a hand on my shoulder. He knew now was not the time. He was right, we needed to revise our plan, use superior tactics. Soon, very soon, Hades would not be able to escape my devious friend trap.

"Well," Apollon stepped forward, like that reliable, somewhat boy scout-like, leader he is, "Let's start enjoying this seaside school."

"Fuck yeah!" I enthused, throwing my heavy bags, and bulky buckets and spades onto the warm sand. "Whoa-What the-"

When I looked up, and bear in mind I had only looked away for a moment, there was a topless man standing in front of me. My face fell into a frown of distaste. I felt discomforted.

And as if that wasn't bad enough, he had begun to unbutton his trousers too- at break neck speed. Poor Yui was freaking out and I can say the very same for myself, although unlike her reaction- stuttering and backing away- I quickly turned to anger. I stormed forward, growling, trembling almost, fully intent on pulling his trousers up if I had too. Propriety must be maintained. "Don't you dare Apollon, don't you even-Oh..."

I stopped mid-march before him. He had swim shorts on underneath. I still wasn't comfortable with it, but it certainly wasn't something I could fault him for. It was proper beach attire.

Apollon was stunned by my sudden flare in anger. I withdrew from his wide-eyed expression, stalking back to the tree line. Others seemed to be surprised by my outburst too. Some gave me curious glances, like Loki, Dionysus or Hades, Susanoo was disapproving, Balder almost looked frightened and Thor... I couldn't tell what he was thinking. But the two that stood out to me were Yui and Tsukiyomi, undoubtedly the two whose opinion mattered to me the most here. Neither was appalled, or disdainful, or even afraid. The only expression I could see on their faces was clear-cut shock. The look made a flush of hot shame cross over me. Even Tsukiyomi's expression, however miniscule, was a powerful blow to me.

I was embarrassed, mortified even, but also I did not want to be around them all now. It was easy enough to forget it wasn't my family, or even my friends from home, coming to the beach with me. These people did not share our seaside customs- _my seaside customs._

Apollon was quick enough to bounce back to his usual cheer, though the smile may have been forced. "Look at these swimming trunks. I read about it in a book."

I watched Yui slowly turn to look at him from the dark shadow of my palm tree. She was calmed, as was I.

"When humans go to the beach or pool, they wear them under their clothes." He told her.

Yui let out a peal of relieved laughter. "What are you, a child?"

Dionysus smiled placidly, shooting me another curious look before saying, "At Apollon's recommendation, we wore our swimsuits under our clothes."

And at that moment, clothes went flying, bodies becoming bare. I cast my eyes away, picking at the bark of the tree I leant against uncomfortably.

I caught sight of Yui's face. It was almost an expression of wonder, cheeks red, eyes wide. I really wanted to go over to her but I wouldn't. I didn't want to be there.

It must have been her awe-struck gasp that did it.

I strode over to her. "Why are you smiling like that Yui?" I demanded, "What's with that dreamy look?"

"Huh-Oh!" Yui jumped, her gaze torn from the gods to meet my blue stare. "Oh, well, it just that everyone's having fun. Even the people that didn't want to come."

"I suppose they look happy." I admitted grudging; only sparing a small glance at the deities before us.

Yui's eyes seemed to sadden. "But you don't..."

"No, I don't..." I agreed with a thoughtful frown. When Yui's sad look didn't fade I smiled slightly and patted her arm awkwardly, "But I will once I start making a sandcastle."

I had managed to get a small giggle from her. She was happy again. _Good._

"Fairy, Alice, go change."

Yui acceded straight away but I snorted indignantly, "No, thank you." The nerve of him. Telling me to change. I hadn't brought a swim suit anyway. I never do.

But what was worse was Susanoo and Dionysius' outfits, if they could be called an outfit. They were barely covered. It was practically nudity! They should have taken example from Tsukiyomi or Hades. Their swimming costumes were reasonable, unpretentious. See, I know how to pick good friends. Well, technically a friend and a friend-to-be.

I had half a mind to have a go at the two gods about it. But the anger died before I had a chance to voice it.

A sudden wind picked up. Before my very eyes flowers shrivelled in mere moments, vivid green leaves dulled and turned to browns and reds and the air became icy. Goose bumps erupted along my skin. I wrapped my arms around myself in an effort to keep warm. This was Autumn. It was plain to see. Zeus was being a git again.

At least I got to relish in Susanoo and Dionysus' shivering. _Serves them right._

Everyone was incredibly put out. Understandably so, but unfortunately, I didn't have much sympathy to spare. Except for poor Hades; he was blaming himself, as per.

The only one continually happy person was Apollon. It was clear he wasn't going to let the weather beat him. "I'm going to swim." He told us single-mindedly. "After all, this is a seaside school."

Idiot, I thought, but then, to my utmost surprise, Tsukiyomi stepped forwards too. _I thought you were intelligent, Suki!_

"I will swim too."

"No, Suki! Stop!" I cried, darting in front of him with my arms outstretched like a barrier. I would become a human wall to protect him from this lapse in mind power.

He gazed at me with his usual deadpan expression, then raised a hand and said, "I decided I was going to swim at this seaside school."

In that one short simple statement I felt my will crumble. I sank to the ground dejectedly. "My wall is broken..." _The force was strong with this one... _I needed more mental training. I decided then I would take up meditation.

"Alice!" Yui exclaimed, seemingly rather shocked that was all it took to get me to give in.

"I know Yui, I know..." I lamented, while behind me, Apollon was cheering. He ran forwards and took Tsukiyomi into an elated bear hug. He was way too affectionate- with _everyone_.

Susanoo stepped forwards in his tiny little loin cloth- _ew_- with a concerned expression. "Brother- don't-"

"You should follow through with your decisions." He told us, still firmly in Apollon's embrace.

As the two began to wade out into the water I arose from the sand, holding my clenched fist upwards. "His logic is flawed but his spirit is true. Go Suki, go!"

Nobody else seemed as encouraging as I...

* * *

><p><em>My, oh my... It's been far too long. Longer than I intended it to be at least. Here's the next chapter and for the first time we see a break in Alice's demeanor. She really doesn't like nudity. Why? You'll have to wait and see. <em>

_And I just wanted to say, thank you all for the support. Its always nice to see people enjoying my writing. I don't normally write in this sort of style or even in first person. I think its going rather well._


	12. Chapter 12

Needless to say things were looking down after all that drama on the beach. The idea of the seaside school had just been the birth of a very ugly annoying child that grew up to be a very ugly annoying adult. It was almost as if Yui and Apollon were that child's parents, loving it unconditionally and never giving up on it, for after a burst of some particularly awkward whingeing in the seaside lodge from Loki, the two took off on Pegasus back. To do what, I had no idea. But I hoped it would be bloody spectacular.

Slowly and quietly seething, in the corner of the lodge, curled up sulkily into an armchair, I waited with Tsukiyomi and Balder for Yui and Apollon to return, reflecting on what had happened before most of the gods left with a scowl.

I had been forced to use my drying technique on Tsukiyomi and Apollon, which involved getting the two of them to roll across a large towel I laid out on the floor for them. Of course, I thoroughly enjoyed watching them roll. I probably did nearly burst a gut from laughter, but, the consequence of that was that I got lumped with all the other carer tasks too. Fetching warm drinks, lighting the fire, rubbing their hair dry. It took such a long time. I felt dead by the end of it. Then Loki was complaining, I was already annoyed, I already had a headache- I just kind of- Well... I snapped. Mentally and physically.

After having heard him say, "I came here because Balder insisted it would be fun but it's boring."

I became so incensed I ended up spilling hot chocolate over his crotch, accidentally or on purpose we will never know, but we will know that Loki got super angry after that. Like, Super Saiyan angry.

Everyone ended up running out of the building one way or another, and somehow I got lumped with another task. Apollon got nominated Student Council President which now made him some kind of supreme leader. And King Apollon's first decree was for Balder, Tsukiyomi and I to stay here, I, unfortunately, doing much more of the staying. My job was to sit inside the lodge while the other two rounded up stray gods. Don't get me wrong, I was inside, I was warm, but tonight I felt edgy. After my earlier outburst, I just wanted to be moving around.

So gradually, as the sun set over the distant horizon I watched god after god trickle back into the lodge, each receiving a more lacklustre greeting than the last. That was, until, Hades walked in. I sprang up and ushered him to my vacated seat in the corner (which was located right next to the roaring fire), taking great care not to stray too close for fear of scaring him off. The other god's watched, bringing great mirth to me, in indignation as I acted out the proper little hostess. "Drink, Hades? Blanket? Maybe I could interest you in a witty joke about our present company?"

"Ah-No. No, thank you..." He answered uncomfortably, shifting in his seat. Maybe I was giving him too much attention... Was it over the top? Nah.

"Not even herbal infusion tea? It's all I've been drinking this evening. I brought a whole pack of it." I took my cup from a nearby table, practically wafting it under Hades nose. And to top it all off, I dug into my snack pack and whipped out a chocolate assortment box.

"Well, maybe I could have some." Hades had been swayed. _YES!_

Loki's voice rang out from the opposite side of the room. "Maybe I could have some too." He almost sounded hopeful. _How pitiful. Bwhahaha._

I shot him a disinterested look over my shoulder as I dished out chocolate to Hades. "I gave you hot chocolate earlier. Surely that's enough. Don't be greedy, Loki."

I believe he may have stormed across the room and attacked me if Balder wasn't there to calm him. Oh, the look he was giving me that moment. I quickly took a picture before deliberately popping a chocolate into my mouth. You know, just to rile him up a bit more.

He let out a hiss of air, sharply turning his head away from me as he said, "What now?"

Tsukiyomi answered dutifully, "Since Apollon is the student council president you must obey his instructions."

"Wait until they return." Balder added tenderly. I swear it was like he was walking on egg shells trying to keep Loki here.

"You've been saying nothing but that." Loki griped, "And Apollon isn't back yet."

"Neither is the weed." Susanoo said.

"Why is Apollon going to all this effort for the seaside school, anyway?"_ Because it's basically his child, idiot. _

Thor glanced at him questioningly. "What are you trying to say?"

"Isn't he Zeus' son? Maybe he's only pretending to be our friend while working to ensure Zeus' plan goes well, or something?" Loki finished with a nasty chuckle.

I had heard and said some spiteful things today but that just topped it all off. He really didn't know when to call it quits, did he?

Hades stood up then. The movement was so sudden and jarring, I nearly dropped the pot of tea I had been pouring him a drink from. "That cannot be."

_Oh my..._

"Why not?" Susanoo demanded in a growl.

"Because he... Apollon...has a love more pure than could be imagined by you... No, than all of us. That is how he is."

_Now that... That was just fucking beautiful. Family sticking up for each other. Get's to me every time._

Loki looked away with a frown that clearly read, my sass has been trumped by a heartfelt speech and if I were to make a comment now I would look like the ultimate dick.

After a small silence, my number one god BFF spoke. "I agree." _You go, Tsukiyomi!_

"So do I." _Ohhh, even Balder. So much sass._

I decided to join in. "Yep, me too." As weird as his determination was, and even if he showed it in an ungainly way, Apollon had to be acknowledged for it.

Loki appeared to have had enough. He pushed himself up from his seat, fist clenched rigidly by his sides. "Forget it! I'm leaving!"

Now, in mention of finer details, I do not know what happened once Loki left the building. On his part at least. On my part, we were left awkwardly staring at each other in the lodge, not quite sure what to do now that he had left, but a few moments later, there was a huge whistling sound then the familiar bang that followed. I leapt up, bounding across the room in merely three strides. I knew what Yui and Apollon had got. I had asked for spectacular and the bloody well got it.

I slammed open the sliding door, with some ineptness (I still wasn't used to the bleeding things), and launched myself against the patio barrier, nearly toppling over the edge from too much momentum. "Fireworks..." I breathed out, watching the remains of golden sparks fade from the sky.

The other gods followed me out, more timidly mind you, but they came and they saw. They were amazed. I could see that amazement in their eyes as we stood outside in the crisp Autumn air and watched the pyrotechnics. In a way, I ended up enjoying watching their faces more than the fireworks (which is pretty amazing considering how much I love fireworks). It was almost as if I saw my younger self reflected in them, a small child who had never seen something so magical before.

In that moment, the tensions of earlier seemed to burn away just like the glowing flowers in the sky. And at a push, I would hasten a guess to say, seaside school was not so much of an ugly annoying child after all.

* * *

><p><em>I have been writing this into the early hours of the morning and have not been able to stop. I may be sleep deprived, but it was well worth it.<em>


	13. Chapter 13

"You don't know how to do it, do you?"

"Shut up!"

I sat on the floor of mine and Yui's room with a large box to my left, filled with planks of wood and screws, directly in front of me a set of instructions were splayed across the ground, and to my right Melissa watched me struggle, thoroughly entertained.

"I do know how to do it. I mean, I would normally, but this is Japanese IKEA, not English IKEA." I told him, glaring at the instructions with a furrowed brow.

"I thought you told me IKEA was Swedish."

"It is!" I cried, throwing my hands up in the air, "The lovely eclectic mix between Swedish and English and pictures is just about understandable. But Japanese kanji and Swedish? How the hell am I meant to read that? If the school shop does IKEA products, they should at least go to the trouble of making it comprehensible for all their consumers."

"I would read it for you," Melissa told me as he waddled over to my instructions for a closer look, "But I'm in a similar boat to you. I can speak Japanese but I can't read it. I can read Greek though."

I stared at the clay monster with pursed lips and said dryly, "Thanks for the offer, as unhelpful as it may be."

"Don't mention it."

"Believe me, I'm trying not to. Anyway," I began smugly, "Suki said he's coming to help me."

"Oh, is that so," Melissa hummed distractedly, now pulling himself into the box of bed parts.

"Yep," I must have seemed like a little kid boasting to their parent about their first friend in preschool, but at the time, I never really paid attention to how silly I must have sounded. "He's my friend."

"I know," Melissa pocked his head out of the box, an eyebrow raised in amusement. "You've told me. Many, many times. Do you know where Yui is?" _Okay, I know it must be annoying that I keep going on about it, but at least humour me. I want some recognition for my friend making skills._

"Off with Apollon," I said unconcernedly. A while ago I would have been worried but now my mind was at ease, wherever Apollon was involved. He had proved himself a good man-a good god? He was daft but reliable. "She said something about a student council meeting."

"Ah, caring those two are. You should take a leaf out of their book."

"I am caring," I argued defiantly, "Like how I care about setting up this stupid bed."

"Sometimes I think you like to be contrary just for the sake of it." Melissa sighed jadedly, yet a small smile had crept onto his face.

"That's what my Dad used to call me when I was younger," My eyes softened in nostalgia. It was a good memory. Although most things seemed good when I was young. "Little Miss contrary."

"I would be careful with what you tell me. I might just start calling you little Miss contrary now."

I beamed at the clay monster, strangely happy with the idea. "I wouldn't mind. It would be like a little piece of home."

Melissa gaped at me. Maybe he felt like he was seeing a new side of me today. "You know, maybe you don't need to take a leaf out of Yui's book. Stay how you are Alice."

"I was planning to." I agreed jauntily, reaching forward to pat Melissa which wound up turning into more of a slap to the face after an unexpected knock at the door.

I sprang up. "Suki!"

* * *

><p><em>I really do love Melissa. He's the best.<em>


	14. Chapter 14

Yui stood before us, Apollon at her side, at the front of the classroom. The rest of us students either listened attentively or dicked about at our desks. "These are the primary types of clubs." She gestured at a row of crudely drawn Melissas on the black board. I sniggered to myself and snapped a picture to rub in the clay monsters face later.

"So, through club activities humans interact and learn to establish strong ties with each other?" Apollon enquired inquisitively.

"Yes. I thought club activities would help in learning to understand the human heart."

"Great idea, Fairy." He praised enthusiastically. "You have the student council president's support."

"Thank you." Yui smiled at Apollon before turning to face us. "Everyone, are there any club activities you'd like to try?"

Apparently Balder was interested in tennis. Soft ball. And Apollon? Tennis. Hard ball.

I'm not going to even get into the euphemisms that were running around my head at that point.

Dionysus wanted to take part in gardening club. _Good, good. Healthy choices. _I just hoped there was no connotation between him being the god of fertility and him wanting to fertilize the plants. Oh, dear god no!

Loki and Thor joined the 'going home' brigade. _Good for them, the twats._They practically shat all over Yui's lovely plan. That was not cool. She was my human hommie here. Nobody would mess with Yui and get away with it. Forget the massive bonding session everyone had on the night of the seaside school; Loki was going back on my hit list.

"Alice?"

"Err, is there a photography club?" I asked, subconsciously caressing the camera I held in my hand. Nothing weird about that. _Nope! _Nothing at all.

"No but there is an art club," Yui offered hopefully.

"Accepted." I saluted her, before going back to my previous occupation of taking pictures of everyone in the room while half-heartedly listening to their talk.

Now it was Hades turn. I zoomed in on him a Yui asked him which club he would like to participate in, peering down my camera's view finder in curiosity.

"I am interested in the astronomy club."

_Whoa!_ I had to put down the camera there and take a breather. His expression was far too intense to look at close up. Never look at the god of the underworld in HD. That I would assume to be even worse than zoom.

"The astronomy club!" Yui enthused, "That's great! Then you'll be in the astronomy club-"

"No," he interrupted, tone cold and indifferent. Yet he was looking away... I wondered why. "I won't be joining a club."

"Eh?" I believe it was becoming a common thing for me to be feeling sorry for Yui, but just to reiterate, _Poor Yui_.

"You asked if I was interested in any clubs, so I simply answered with the astronomy club."

"But..." Yui began to murmur, looking positively crestfallen. _Friend-to-be! _I yelled at Hades mentally (if I was lucky some kind of telepathic link would stun him into kindness), _you're making current human friend sad!_

Hades stood then with a certain finality to the action (I guess my telepathy would have to be worked on- my inner Vulcan needed training). "I do not intend to participate in group activities. If that is what clubs are, then I shall pass."

And thus, after Hades left, we were all left in the wake of an awkward silence. Well, the silence was only made awkward by the sound of my camera shutters taking pictures of his departing figure.

...

That night well after I had wriggled into the sheets my pristine IKEA bed, a quiet creak of an opening door sounded throughout the room. I stirred from my slumber- images of two great burning eyes running through my mind as I awoke. I shot up, gasping and clutching at my chest. That nightmare had nearly given me a heart attack, I swear...but I was quick to forget the eyes. There was something much more alarming in reality that needed my attention.

Yui was shuffling into the room, head down and shoulder slumped. She was trembling and- _Is that water!_

"Yui, you're soaked!" I exclaimed, startling her out of whatever daze she may have been in. She jerked and smacked her hand against the wall, bringing about a small cry of pain.

Not sparing a second, I threw my covers into a messy heap on the floor, pushing off my bed to rush over to Yui. I held her, as delicately as I could, by the shoulders. "What's wrong?"

By this time Melissa had woken up to and called out groggily, "What are you two doing up and about? It's the middle of the night."

"I-I fell in a river." Yui told us weakly.

And so, over the course of the next ten minutes, Yui recounted the tale of how she had been insistent to accompany Hades to go star gazing, but then also how things had started to turn sour when it began to rain.

"He dived into the river to rescue you?" I asked in wonder. Yui nodded meekly and I turned on Melissa, a triumphant smile on my face. "See, I told you he was friend material! He bleeding leapt into a churning icy river to save Yui's life. If that isn't noble then I don't know what is."

"Noble doesn't equate to friendship material." Melissa argued stubbornly.

"Who's being little Miss contrary now?" I smirked but realised we were being slightly insensitive towards Yui's feelings. 'Slightly' being an understatement. "So, it isn't all bad Yui. He saved your life."

"Well," Melissa shrugged uncomfortably, "In a way, it was also a disaster."

I whacked him around the back of the head, hissing, "Not. Helping."

The clay monster glared at me but quickly recovered, rubbing Yui's arm comfortingly, "Well, don't let it get you down. As Alice said, it's not all bad..."

That night, I began to scheme. Tactics. I needed tactics. This went further than just befriending Hades now. This would be us trying to find a way to tackle his heart.

* * *

><p><em>Mooooorrrrreeeeeeee...<em>


	15. Chapter 15

Over the course of the next few days, I went into spy mode- an indiscriminate camera hanging around my neck and my trusty assistant Watson at my- just kidding! I had dragged Tsukiyomi along for my plan.

It was the ultimate stakeout- to follow, and hopefully, not be seen by our target, Hades.

"Subject locked in sight," Crouched in a patch of shrubbery, Tsukiyomi and I watched Hades sitting on the steps in the school garden. I was determined to gather information before approaching him. Thus, a stakeout. "Suki, status report."

"Subject is stationary," Tsukiyomi replied, shifting in his spot to get at better view of Hades, "Just as he has been for the last ten minutes. Currently there is no new activity to report- Wait, there is activity."

I gasped and whispered excitedly, "What? What?"

"Kusanagi Yui seems to be approaching the target."

"She is?" I shuffled closer to Tsukiyomi and peered from the gap he had been using between two sweet scented flowers. It made we want to sneeze. "Oh, she is!"

Yui had walked up to Hades and was now engaging in conversation. This was new ground for the befriending Hades plan, one that Yui had unknowing walked straight into. It was like walking into a mine field. "Code red, code red." I murmured to Tsukiyomi and he nodded in agreement.

"Should we take emergency action?" He asked me.

I thought about it for a moment and then shook my head. As much of a detriment this could be to our plan, I would let Yui talk to Hades. She was incredibly sweet and kind-hearted. Maybe she could soften him up before the next stage of our scheme. She had managed to befriend me after all. That was a feat in itself. I could be very picky about friends.

The conversation continued on between Hades and Yui and things were going fairly well, but then she said something astronomically heart-felt, "But I want to go," She told Hades, "I realized how beautiful the stars are, and it made me want to learn more. Besides, rather than viewing them alone, I think it's more wonderful to share that feeling with another."

Hades appeared to mull over her words for a second before replying, "Do as you wish."

_YESSSSSS! SHE DID IT!_

I felt like jumping up and dancing (which I didn't do for the sake of my stakeout) but oh my, Yui was a master of words. She had managed to break down some of Hades' hateful wall.

Unfortunately, in a way that completely ruined the current atmosphere, a ball came flying out of nowhere and hit Yui in the face. _Bloody Balder..._ I groaned sadly.

And then, even better, Apollon somehow managed to also fire a ball at Yui's face, and to top it all off, Dionysus drenched her with the hose. _Great. Absolutely great._

_THEY WERE HAVING A MOMENT!_

"We can reconvene this stakeout at a later date. For now, you can go Suki." I sighed wearily as Tsukiyomi nodded in acknowledgment and left.

It was times like these that made me wonder how I had become friends with Tsukiyomi so easily.

I stayed hidden in the bushes for quite some time, waiting for everyone to depart until just one was left. Hades had remained sitting quietly on the steps, looking out to the sky with a pensive frown. I drew near him carefully, wary of scaring him away, and sank down onto a step a few feet away from him.

"Hades," I began, in a tone so serious, someone who did not know me well may not have believed this girl to have been me, "I have something I want to tell you."

I could feel his eyes flit over to look at me, but my gaze remained focused on the sky- as his had been just moments before.

"Alright." He agreed calmly, his eyes returning to the heavens.

I sucked in a deep breath before speaking. _I haven't really voiced this aloud before but desperate times call for desperate measures. _"Once upon a time, there was a shy little girl. She was so timid she struggled to even talk to a girl she had been sitting next to in maths for almost two years. She was a silly little thing. The girl had the most crazy, amazing, bizarre thoughts, but she never voiced them. Why? Because she thought to herself: what if I cause them boredom?"

Hades was watching me intently now. I could feel his dark eyes trained on my face, ears keened to my words. _Well, I've certainly caught his attention._

"But the little girl began to grow up, and in that time, she realised she was utterly stupid for thinking such a thing. Boredom? Of course she wouldn't cause boredom. Not if she made herself become interesting. So that is what she did, she broke free one day and made herself interesting. Now she sits beside you. So tell me Hades, if one little girl can make herself interesting, what's there to stop a god, who claims to cause bad luck, making himself lucky?"

"Making himself lucky...?" Hades echoed my words, staring at me with his eyes wider than I had ever seen.

"Do you understand what I am saying?" I was looking at him now; my expression hardened into a significant look that I hoped would resonate with him.

The underworld god opened his mouth to answer, but seemingly thought against it, turning away and muttering, "I do not."

I breathed out slowly, pursed my lips, and then stood. "Then I have nothing more to say to you." I left him in a brisk walk, not sure if my eagerness to leave was through mortification or frustration. Both? Probably.

I truly hoped Yui would be able to come up with some new method of approach, because for me, I was now officially unable to do anything more than sit back and watch the situation unfold.

* * *

><p><em>So. Much. Angst. But then there's comedy too. Somehow I'm managing to confuse myself.<em>


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